As a reflux baby's parent.....

I've read the other day somewhere of these top things not to say to a reflux parent, and it's so darn true!!!!

Quoted from top-20-things-not-to-say-to-a-reflux-parent

1. All babies cry you know.
2. All babies vomit you know.
3. Is this your first?
4. He’s feeding off your stress.
5. But she seems so happy.
6. Oh my baby used to vomit all the time too!
7. But he’s a healthy weight?
8. Don’t worry! They grow out of it.
9. You need to stop breastfeeding  / have you tried formula?
10. He’s just got colic.
11. She’ll eat if she’s hungry.
12. He doesn’t vomit so it can’t be reflux.
13. Sleep when baby sleeps (not helpful when baby doesn’t sleep).
14. Don’t let your child rule your life – they need to fit into your schedule.
15. Send him to me. I’ll sort him out.
16. Stop spoiling her.
17. You’re over-reacting. Just relax.
18. He just needs more cuddles.
19. She doesn’t look sick.
20. Screaming is good for their lungs.

What more can I think of?

1. Don't pay attention to how much she drinks as you will stress her out.
2. She looks chubby enough, so she doesn't look like she has feeding issues.
3. Lower your expectations on how much she drinks. 
4. She just doesn't need that much feeding like other babies.
5. Let her cry it out, don't spoil her as she will get used to having the attention.
6. Did you try using a different bottle or a different teat? 
7. Maybe you should restart breastfeeding? 
8. Maybe you need to work less and spend more time to take care of her yourself.
9. Just start her on solid food and she will be fine.
10. Before you know it, she is a grown up. Time will fly by. (Try telling that when I'm getting up at night walking over to her when she cries for only the 3rd/ 4th time that night. Or when I'm struggling with feeding her.)
11. Stick to the routine.
12. Don't stick to the routine, and feed her when she wants it. 
13. Feed her smaller bottles.
14. Try less hard.
15. Relax. ( How can you relax when you've been dealing with this for months?!)
16. Oh she doesn't really split up or throw up, so what's the problem?

We are also considering getting Sami a nanny (either her going to the nanny's house or having the nanny over). Initially my hubby is very reluctant to even think about having a nanny, because of the poor experience we have had in the past with my son. However, I kept on reminding him of the good experiences I also had and have! Unfortunately the wonderful nanny Julian had before isn't living around the block, so it's just logistically not possible to have her taking Sami in a long run. She is wonderful and sweet enough to help me out from time to time, so that I can have my break in between to catch up on some sanity.



Right now at the daycare, because of their having numerous of staff with other kids needing attention as well, Sami's feeding issue becomes more challenging there and her sleeping pattern is heavily impacted. Also, you can tell one personnel there ten times of the points you need to pay attention to when taking care of a silent reflux baby, but the next thing you know, it's another person taking care of her that day. Or they just get bored with having to read the instructions you put down, so that won't help Sami. A daycare is basically good for kids to start learning to socialize but at Sami's age, all she does when she is awake is sitting in a bouncer seat watching other kids running around. I bet that can be also tiring, if I imagine myself sitting in the crowd watching them running around and making all sort of noises.

However, finding a proper nanny who is willing to take a reflux baby, and who is experienced enough, plus affordable to us is one major task. I remind myself to be patient on this, as I guess we need to also bump into such person like we did with the great nanny I've met for Julian at the time.

Again, this is the support we as parents with reflux babies miss. Our lives definitely need to keep on going, including our jobs, our attention for my son, household, etc. Yet, without proper support, it can create such a big stress on our shoulder. I know there are a lot more serious and life threatening illnesses out there which need more awareness and support. However, what I don't quite get is in such a modern advanced medical world, how come no one seems to be able to give a solution that can help our daughter to feel better?! Even with certain medical staff, they have no idea what reflux really means!