The Enfamil AR that we thought was the answer to the equation got us to our lowest point in terms of the amount of milk Sami drank. She went from roughly a daily in-take of 600-700 cc (20-23 oz) down to 400 cc (13 oz). She was very constipated, and we tried all the natural methods to help her, including extra water, prune juice, olive oil, massage, legs exercises, etc. None of them worked. We called the hospital asking for advice, but we got sent away. We had to go to the consultatiebureau (health center), and they didn't have much to tell apart from what we already knew, plus suggesting us to mix the Enfamil with normal formula. We also visited our GP and he didn't prescribe anything either, so we bought off the counter laxative drink for her but as we didn't dare to give the full dosage, so that didn't help right away until we increased the dosage. Only after a week and my "panic" call to the hospital, the pediatrician who prescribed her this formula gave us another medication. However, as we put the medication in her milk bottle, it was hard to give it to her when she refused the bottle. Eventually one day, I just switched her back to the normal formula, where she drank again from.
We went back to our GP again, and this time the GP listened to me better, as I was at my wit end, and just couldn't take much anymore. Sami was waking 3-5 times up each night, simply because she was hungry I believe. Yet, I didn't dare to go feeding her as I was afraid that she would get a habit out of it. We decided then to put her back on Nexium, the medication she was first on when she was 6 weeks old. Just that this time, it was with a lower dosage.
After we started the medication, things started to improve. We also started to put thickener in her formula, and we just thought things finally were settling down, as she even had once a daily in-take of 900 cc (30 oz), which was amazing! We added solid food as well in her menu, and some things she loves and some less. She loves parsnips, pumpkin with sweet potatoes, and bread. She doesn't like peer nor yogurt that much. I find it challenging to come up with "safe" food for her reflux, since the last thing I want to do is giving her some solid food that would make the reflux worse.
Then I did one thing that I regret terribly. I tossed her old nipples (teats) for her bottle into the bin and replaced with new ones but the same size as the old ones were getting old. I never realized until it was too late that the new ones could be too hard while the old ones were so worn but were what she was used to. So the first bottle after I replaced them took about an hour for her to drink from. It was plain horrible, as she started to get frustrated so did I. We adjusted the amount of thickener, but that only made the reflux worse.
Luckily, after having shared my story out there, some moms suggested me to cook the new nipples longer to make them softer, plus making the hole somewhat bigger by using a needle that that had been heated under fire. So I did those, and yes, I cooked those nipples for an hour just to make sure! That did help, just that we couldn't find the right amount of thickener that fits into the equation anymore.
I decided to just buy the formula that has got the thickener in it, which means at least I know the amount is then consistent. Anyway, I started doing so yesterday, and yes she drank slower, but at least she seemed to be happy and finished her bottle mostly. She had again 925cc (32 oz), which broke her record. She also ate parsnips that I freshly made for her.
She still wakes up at night, but at least it's no longer 5 times per night, it's ranging from 0 times to 2-3 times each night. What I've learned is accepting to get up for her each night, then I find myself feeling less frustrated. Also even though all books and sites on sleep training tell you not to go to her immediately at night when they wake up to train them self-smooth back to sleep, I just can't stand myself being all awake waiting for her to go back to sleep which doesn't often happen, as she would often whine even more or cries. And yes, we put her to bed when she is drowsy but still awake, so she CAN fall asleep on her own. So I just walk to her when she cries at night, and put the dummy back into her mouth. She will then 9 times out of 10 go back to sleep. I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do, but it's definitely something I do to keep some sanity in me.
These days, she still fusses over the first and last bottle of the day. My hubby struggles with the first, and I struggle with the last. Probably with the constant lack of sleep, everyday at around 9, I'm just exhausted after having finished feeding her, sterilizing her bottles and so, getting her bag packed for the daycare, etc. Often I just fall asleep on the couch with my hubby lying next to me watching TV. Sami often then wakes up at around 10-ish crying a bit, not sure why she does that, but the dummy works well so far. I hate having to feed her midnight bottle, as I'm half asleep when I've to get up to feed her. Once I finish feeding her, I would most of the time be too awake to go back to sleep.
Anyway, I guess these all will be behind us in a year time, replaced by other issues. I really hope that reflux is something that will make us all stronger, and that the rest of the things would seem easier by putting things in perspective.
Luckily, we do have enjoyable moments. Apart from the feeding issue and sleep deprivation, I do enjoy seeing Sami developing. She is getting a hang of rolling over. She loves chatting, and laughing. So far we don't have the crying "happy hour" with her, while I used to have that with Julian.
Julian has also been helping out as much as he can, though it takes some effort and time for me to get him into the right mood and attitude. It took him some time to get used having to do homework, household chores, going to bed and getting ready for school on time after the summer vacation. This year he starts having homework also from his normal Dutch school, and I think it's good that he is taking those seriously. I also have to get used to having to help him more with his Chinese homework, since in the past, our Chinese nanny used to help him with that, and now we don't have any nanny for him, I've to help him with it.
I also try getting Julian to be more independent by involving him more in helping us out, like helping out in the kitchen. He does now some preparation work for me, or simple cooking, like cooking the rice. Hopefully that will help him in the future.
It takes time for all of us getting used to things that may keep changing. I try also be more relaxed and calm about things though at times that is real hard. Sometimes I do look at friends I know, and see from their Facebook photo album how things change, how their kids grow, then I know soon our struggles will be less, and we will be rewarded by more pleasant enjoyable time with the hard work we are putting in now.
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