Soul Caring

When reading some professional blogs, I see they are more focused on one single topic, whether it is related to parenting or something else.

If you have been reading mine, you will see it is related to almost every thing that goes on in my life, which includes parenting, being a wife, being a daughter, etc. I do not care too much about my blog not being popular, because I am writing more for myself, and sharing my experiences, my views, my success, my failure, etc with others, in the hope that this would help others too.

 

It has taken me 40 years to realize the importance of SOUL CARE. We tend to be overwhelmed by our daily commitments, responsibilities and lives we think we should be leading, that we sometimes forget to give space for our feelings, give ourselves time to sit down and think.

 

I am lucky enough to have found the right path by reaching out, to find ways on putting some closures to the past, giving some love and peace to presence, and embrace the presence.

 

I am not saying it is not important to talk about the past, and it sure is important sometimes, when handling some pain, anger, disappointment, regrets, etc. The healing process can be a long journey, and we do not have to set deadlines to ourselves. We can take it in a gentle way, by taking a step at a time.

 

Lately, I am learning some techniques which I would like to share with you all.

 

Breathing exercise

 

Yes, it sounds sometimes a bit old but it does work wonders. When feeling sad or overwhelmed, put your hands onto your belly if you can, and breath in deeply by counting 1-10, then breath out slowly by counting another 1-10. After doing so a couple times, try counting from 10-1 too. This does calm ourselves down. It's like our bodies learn to reboot by doing so.

 

Imaginations

 

I have imagined myself (with closed eyes if possible), taking a walk, then walking through the forest, hearing the sound of my feet stepping onto the fallen leaves. Then there is a warm fireplace, so I started walking towards it gradually. I see a wise person sitting there. The wise person waved at me gesturing me to sit down next to the person. I can see how he/ she looks like. It is quiet, and I'm told that I can only ask this wise person one question. I ask, "how do I know I'm doing good enough?" This wise person would then tell me the answer. The answer is, "Just believe in you and God, you will have the strength to handle it all."After that, I slowly get up, hug this wise person, and leave.

 

Another imagination I have done is by closing my eyes, I think about being in a safe warm place. This is a place where I know I am always safe. Slowly I open my eyes. I notice myself sitting in a church in Hong Kong. There are candles lit, and a nice warm scent of candles that make me feel safe. It is like I am back home, God's home. Then I see there are nuns there whom I know and trust. They are nuns who have been in my life from my high school. There are also a few teachers from my high school. They are there to comfort me and hug me. They take me as who I am without expecting me to be someone else. They are proud of whom I am.

 

Remembering, listening to or reading about spiritual or inspiring quotes or articles

 

After having met some very inspiring people lately, reading their blogs or reading articles out there, digesting those inspiring quotes help me to calm down, and put things into perspective. I come up with quotes with my own words.

 

Doing something relaxing

 

 

Having kids and having a full-time job gives me not much room to do much on the relaxation part. I have to be creative to find ways to relax. Taking a long shower on a Saturday or Sunday morning is like the best gift my husband can give me at times. Just that I need to remember locking the door, or else I can never be alone as my son is still comfortable in coming in to talk to me about anything just when I am under the shower.

 

 

If possible, I try to find an hour or two time off somewhere to just be alone. My son goes to a Chinese private tutor class, so that is a good time for me just being alone. I like to shop around, do groceries, meet up with someone or just glancing through some books. One of my hobbies had been hanging around in bookstores in Hong Kong as a child, just that unfortunately book stores are not that popular anymore as they used to be.

 

One thing in the moment

 

I try to focus my attention on just what I am doing. Or just on myself. Put my mind in the present.

 

Having said this, it may look simple, but it is not when often I find myself juggling around with different tasks at the same time.

 

Self-Encouragement

 

There are different ways doing it. You can tell yourself the following:

"You go girl"

"I will make it out of this."

"I am doing the best I can."

"I can stand it."

"This soon shall pass."

"I will be OK."

"It won't last forever."

"I can do this."

 

There is this Chinese novel, named "The True Story of Ah Q". published in 1921 and 1922. The story embraces the adventures of "Ah Q", a man from the rural peasant class with little education and no definite occupation. Ah Q is famous for "spiritual victories", for self-talk and self-deception even when facing extreme defeat or humiliation. He persuades himself mentally that he is spiritually superior to his oppressors even as he succumbs to their tyranny and suppression. He believes he is the victor every time he loses a fight.

 

Sometimes we all have to be "Ah Q", to tell ourselves that even though we failed, we actually have won because we have become stronger.

 

 

 

 

I do not always manage to do these all or any of it. I get overwhelmed at times so much that I cannot think clearly. I make mistakes but I am OK with that too. I would like to teach my children that it is OK to make mistakes just as long as you make them quick enough to learn from it, and move on, also dare to admit you are wrong! Making mistakes is not the privilege of children but adults as well. Sure enough mistakes made by adults can have a bigger consequences.