2nd round marriage

When I first met my current husband, I realized then that love could be so much different than what I was used to. I could not believe I actually deserve being loved in such way. I in return give him all the love I have, as I realize he is my MR RIGHT.



So for me, getting re-married is not difficult, although I had been confronted by people's criticisms on my jumping into a new relationship. Often for some Chinese, it seems to be a disgraceful thing to do. I have lost friendships because of this, but I tell myself to focus on the people who love me and accept me the way I am.

Nevertheless, in round-two marriage with my husband being the stepfather, my son being the stepson, it is no easy gig. The greatest challenge is conflict over the parenting of the stepson/ son, especially when my husband applies more traditional parenting style, and I apply more the gentle approach. Okay, I will admit it too that I feel guilty too for what my son has to be put through. I made the decision together with my husband to enter this marriage with a sincere desire to create a loving, functional, blended family. My son didn't have the choice. Mixing a family is like mixing oil and vinegar, it is really not as easy as it looks.

Ever since my pregnancy, my husband has been putting his focus on me and our little daughter, that the relationship between him and my son has just not been well-invested and well-maintained. With my son's hitting the pre-puberty age, the number of fights we have at home really tells us how obvious this is beginning to affect our lives.

I try understanding my husband's feeling. I know the tension-filled situation we have got ourselves into often can cause a once-hopeful family to start falling apart, and that is the last thing I want to see happening. I understand that for my husband to survive from the over-boiling frustrations, he may end up disconnecting from me and disengaging from parenting my son.

I do not want to lose hope in this. I have always been a fighter in my life. I have stayed strong all these years to survive, and I will stay strong if I have to. I definitely am committed to make this marriage work by all means. The question is how!

How do we blend traditional parenting with gentle parenting style?



I feel we don't do enough as a family together. In the weekend, my son goes to football, and then we just do our weekly groceries shopping followed by hanging around in the house. And on Sunday, we don't often go out either. Bi-weekly I bring my son to his Chinese private lessons, and when we get around to, we then can spend some mother-and-son time together. I strongly feel there is a need to spend more family time together, so that we have some fun and laughter again in this household.

For those who read this, please enlighten me with your ideas too! I have learned that parenting is not easy but you also don't have to walk alone in this.