What is however interesting is the percentage of full time working female versus the part-time working ones. Only 16% of the female population works more than 35 hours per week. Roughly 40% of the women work between 20-34 hours a week, especially those who have children.
In a culture where part-time working mothers are common, it is then hard for some people to understand my working full-time. Even when bringing my kid to the health visitors, the nurses often assume I work part-time that there is always a day or two that I can be home. In the past, I used the excuses of being a "single mom" (which luckily is no longer the case anymore), or having to pay for two houses (that also is fortunately no longer the situation since recent months). So next time when I'm there, I will need to come up with a better reason, so that you won't feel being judged.
My daughter goes to the daycare 5 days a week, and according to some people, that is a lot. We tried having nannies taking care of her, but we just haven't been able to find a good match. When I looked for nannies at the time when my son was still little, I even got asked by one of those nannies why I would consider having a child if I wasn't there for my child. That very moment when she said that, I doubted myself while feeling mad that she judged me. Now thinking back, what I should have done was telling her it was my choice, and it would have been her choice also whether she wanted to be the nanny.
Why do I make myself difficult by working full-time?
First of all, after having kids, your financial burden is just heavier, and working part-time would mean giving in more salaries, so where to find that balance to make sure you've enough by the end of each month.
Secondly, I've told my ex as well as my current husband when we first met that I would not be a very nice person to live with if I would have to be a housewife. Not that I don't like a relaxing time at home without rush hours stuck in traffic getting to work and getting to the daycares to pick up kids, I just am not the staying home type. And no offence, I have all my respects towards those who are staying home for their kids. I think they are doing a wonderful job. It's just that I'm not a good material for being one. I grew up with my mother working full-time, and my father being abroad all the time. Do I think my parents were doing a bad job raising me? No. And I have learned that you need to do your best to achieve something in life. You can't just sit back and expect all will be given.
Thirdly, my job currently won't allow so. I work for an American company and I report to an American boss. In their culture or at least our company's culture, working part-time or working from home isn't something they generally accept. And my job does need more than 40 hours per week of work, so working part-time means going on early pension without funds.
In conclusion, I'm better off working full-time, and the trick now is how to find the balance of being a career woman and being a mom. I sometimes have those guilty moments which I'm sure all moms get from time to time, no matter who they are. I doubt myself for whether I'm being a good employee, and a good mom. Have I got the home-front taken care of? Am I neglecting the home-front? Am I loving my kids less than other part-time working mothers?
At times, I feel life is still unfair towards the ladies, simply because the society expects women to join the working force more as men and women are supposed to be treated equally, yet women are supposed to still take care of the home front, so that when most men have to do their business meetings, their business traveling, or anything so-called related to business, women are supposed to make sure all is taken care of at home.
I'm not saying that there are no good employers who take this into account. However, my husband and I do face often questions from his employer why he can't be abroad during the week and only come home in the weekend. The employer knows I work full-time, but it's not to his interest. I can't blame him from a business point of view. Just that when I had my human resource management classes in college, one important lesson taught was how to manage.
I guess there is just no right or wrong concerning anything around making choices on parenthood. I am doing my best to parent my kids the best way I can, with trial and error. My goal is to have them raised well-mannered, appreciative, and decent persons. I have to remind myself to keep my expectations realistic too, since I know for a fact that I cannot be with my kids while working full-time, and I can't work part-time with the same satisfaction I am getting as a person. I have also learned that it takes a happy mom to be a good parent. Everyday I somehow manage to get dinner on the table and have my kids fed, then I guess I'm not doing such a horrible job.
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