I remember so well everything that happened that day. We got in there on time, as Julian was staying with my mother already the night before. We had to wait for a bit. The nurse put all that was needed on me, including the glucose IV, just that she did the wrong setting, so my glucose level went sky high all of sudden. Luckily we found it on time and all was ok again. Going by the lift downstairs in my bed made me nervous. My hubby stayed with me the whole time. Once we were waiting to get into the OR, they had to change all the gloves as I thought I was only allergic to rubber and not to latex. Anyway, for safety measures, they changed them including cleaning the air. The OR was smaller than I expected, less blue, more white. They were comforting me worrying that I would be scared with so many staff there. That was my least fear! I was more scared of the surgery itself, since I never had one!
Once all was ready and I was drugged, I could not feel my lower part of the body apart from their pushing and pulling. And within minutes, Sami was there! My hubby wasn't scared and looked over the screen to witness her being brought out (or pulled out actually). She was being brought away by the doctor to be examinated before she was brought to me. What a tiny creature!!!
Because I had some side effects from the drugs, so I'd to be monitored in a resting room after the surgery. Sami and my hubby went back upstairs, and she was fed with the breast milk that I expressed with a lot of effort prior the delivery. It was worthy, as her glucose level was getting too low.
When I was back upstairs with them, I was still drugged so I didn't feel much pain. I was overwhelmed by the joy and happiness. I couldn't resist not holding her in my arms. I fed her though my breast milk wasn't up and running yet. Now thinking back, she was so tiny. She was only 2650 grams at birth.
Once the anestheic was getting out of my system, I really needed to get painkillers. They gave me mofine type painkillers, along with another painkiller. I could hardly move, but because they had to dress me, I had to roll on my side. That was one of the worst pain ever!
The nice thing about giving birth nowadays versus 8 years ago with Julian was that my hubby got to stay and sleep over. He could help me with a lot of things, including warming up meals that my mom prepared for me. Plus he was there to help me with all sort of things! I can't imagine going over that without him!
My mom visited us the same day Sami was born. She right away said Sami looked like her father, my hubby! I couldn't tell, but to me what was important was that she was finally out of my belly without us worrying so much, since I'd the gestational diabetes along with other issues.
And now 85 days later, she is over 5 kg! She drank her last bottle last night at midnight of 150 cc. This morning she only woke up at 7:20 am!!! She was not even fully awake, but I fed her anyway after I'd taken my shower. She drank her 150 cc again, and went back to sleep.
Yesterday she was at our trustful nanny and also slept till 7:15 am. So maybe she was switching it herself, or maybe now back home, with us having switched her room with her brother, Julian's, she gets less bothered by the noises from the construction that is going on in front of our house.
During the day, she doesn't like sleeping much. I guess that's the part she is like me. When I was small, I also didn't drink much or sleep much during the day. I cried a lot as a child. Nicknames were given. Julian wasn't easy at the time too, so I wonder if it was pay-back time for all the crying I'd put my mom and others through as a child.
A lot of people said that I should just accept Sami as being difficult and crying baby. However, something told me something was wrong. I was glad that we kept on pushing, and it turned out she has silent reflux and her tongue plus upper lip ties needed to be cut. It was a shame though that it took that long for us to get help from the medical staff to treat her properly.
Now even though she does cry, but I can accept it. I've also learned to get out with her as I think it's time now for her to get some exposure towards noises and so. She doesn't sleep anyway at home in bed during the day. I may as well get out of the house with her, so that I am happy, then she is happy. Some people feel that I may be selfish, especially when I've got a nanny to take care of her so that I can have some "ME" time. I know not all moms get to do so, or want to do so. What I've learned is that definitely, every mom and every child is different. Everyone's needs is different. I love my children to the moon and back, but I need to have a bit of me to stay alive. After almost 3 months of staying at home, or running to hospitals visits with Sami having been admitted in the hospital for 2 times, and my almost hitting a postnatal depression (even got anti-depressive pills prescribed by the doctor), I think it's important that a mom stays happy, so that the baby can also be happy.
15 more days, I'll be back at work! I don't know how I'm going to manage that, but I know I will eventually like I've always eventually managed to survive, or do better than just suriving.
I'd done blogging in the past, written in both Chinese and English. Just that with the limited time I've, I'm going to just do it in English. And it's just a trial to see if I really want to keep this up. I think it may be good for me to look back and read sometimes. Also, nice to just put this out there, and yes, I've also learned that whatever I put out here, people who read this may give comments of their own, and some I may not be agreeing to. I'll have to accept this fact, and at the same time, others will have respect my decisions or way of thinking.
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