Toddler time..... 18 months and 10 days

Here we are... 18 months and 10 days of having Sami in our Family. People who know me or have followed my story know we have done a bit of struggling to get to where we are. We are not at the end of the tunnel concerning Sami's reflux but we are dealing with it in a more skillful way. Now when I see on Facebook messages from someone I don't know about having a reflux baby, I immediately would like to offer some help, simply because I know I've been there. I want to show them my compassion towards them even I don't know them, simply because I know how much that can mean to someone. I know those dark days well, and it is hard to explain to those who haven't been through this or any other challenging moments with a baby.

The one very nice thing I like about Facebook's functionality is its popping up automatically what have been posted in the previous years on the day. It brings back a lot of good memories, and when I see the bad experiences that were posted, then I can tell myself we have made it. I feel grateful for what I have now.

I must say though the turning point for me on really enjoying the time with Sami is her turning 18 months old. I really enjoy my Saturday morning with her, when my hubby brings Julian to play his football match. Sami and I would have breakfast together, and get ready to go out for some groceries shopping. Even though going alone is sometimes tricky with her demanding to get out and walk these days and her screaming in the buggy because she is not allowed to, I still enjoy it.

I find myself being able to enjoy it because I know what toddler can mean. (OK, I may hit myself with a stick later on realizing I actually don't know enough.... but for now, let me enjoy the moment of it.)



Toddler means they understand partially of what you say, and often it's not the part that you want them to understand or they only understand the last word of the sentence you are saying such as "you are not getting anymore cookies" = "COOKIES", or "we will have to get into the car first before we go for a walk" = "WALK". Then they get awfully frustrated at us for not sticking to the promises made. They cry with real tears, and sometimes can go as far as coughing or choking acts from mega crying. I have learned to ignore it when necessary, even it means I need to sing loud in my head to focus on driving, because keeping us safe on the road is more important than pleasing a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Toddler also means they can switch from a screaming kid to a smiling or laughing angel within a second, even with tears still dropping. Those are the moments we must try our best to remember and hang on to, because these are like water in desert. I love the moments like seeing Sami exploring her world upside down between her legs, or Sami talking more and more.

What I've learned from Julian's toddler days is to stay communicative and consistent. Toddlers like things being predictable, and in general, we must tell children at all age anyway of what they can expect happening or what our expectations are within the next coming 10 minutes, or 1 hour, or week, or month, or year. This makes it easier for kids to accept when they have little choices than to accept our decisions.

On the other hand, even toddlers already would like to have choices. I try being clear on what choices are given. I try to let go of some control to limit the drama which we may get in return. Does it really matter to us whether our child wants a green tee or a pink tee? No, so let the child choose, but make sure you do so for example the night before and explain to the child that this is the decision we will stick with the next morning when getting dressed. And when there are occasions that there aren't really a choice, then I would limit it by saying for example "food or sleep".



I remember loving the age of 3 as that was when my son could express himself much better. So I have now one and half year to bite through this stage, but it's still a lot easier than having to deal with health issues.